czwartek, 21 marca 2019

Teaching Competitive Kids It's Okay to Lose

Almost all children strive to be the first in any competition: who first got dressed, ate, ran down and so on, not to mention games, where as a result of losing kids have universal disappointment. Reactions to defeat are different someone has tears in his eyes, and someone makes a tantrum. The most unpleasant thing is that the child often loses interest in what did not work out.

Parents, in order not to upset the child, often deliberately yield to his victory - let her rejoice. This is not the answer, because outside the house there is always the one who will be stronger, faster and smarter.

Winning is a natural desire of a person; it helps to achieve a success. Unfortunately, life consists not only of victories and achievements, and so that defeat does not become a reason to give up, a child must be prepared for failures.

Children copy the behavior of parents, and most often, they form their own reaction to the losing, observing how adults behave in cases of failure or loss. Try to give the right example for the children.

Allow to be mistaken. The primary attitude of the child to their own mistakes is formed by the parents. “I told you not to go there - look now what you have done!”... Such a reaction of parents imposes a prohibition on making mistakes. The child necessarily needs a negative experience so that he can imagine the consequences of his actions and be ready for different outcomes of events.

Enjoy any achievements. Any competition checks the skills of the participants, and if the child is not strong in something, then this should not be perceived as a catastrophe by relatives. Defeat reveals weaknesses and shortcomings. If you always expect only victory from the child, then any failure will be perceived as a tragedy. It is important to note the good results of the child, his diligence and perseverance.

Praise for success. Praise is a powerful weapon, it must be properly used. Evaluating the work of the child, you do not need to constantly admire, especially if there is no reason for this. Of course, it is not necessary and completely reject the work, and try to find those places where the child tried, and mark them.

Always support. Try to contain frustration with childhood failures. It is important for the child to be understood and heard! It is important to be close: let him talk to you, let him cry. When emotions subside, talk about the reasons for the failure. Convince that in the game winners and losers are constantly changing places, and that another time he will definitely become a winner, you just have to make an effort! The most important thing that needs to be brought up in children on the example of all sorts of competitions is the desire for self-improvement.

Learn to respect someone else's victory. Explain to the child that the winner deserves respect, that any achievement is the result of work, and you should be glad for the opponent.
Find examples of the “success and failure” of different people, the idols of your children, watch cartoons, programs, films that deal with this kind of situation. There, in fact, it often happens that the protagonist is first an outsider, and then gaining experience, to become wiser, and as a result- he wins! Be wise support for your children. There must be a period of making negative moments in life. This is the stage of personality formation. And having taught our kids in childhood to accept their defeats, we help them to become psychologically stronger, and therefore happier!k

Autor: TatianaJestem absolwentką Poltava National V.G. Korolenko Pedagogical University in Poltava ze stopniem magistra filologii angielskiej i literatury światowej. Ukończyłam również licencjat na Uniwersytecie Marii Skłodowskiej Curie w Lublinie na kierunku: Stosunki międzynarodowe ; specjalizacja- stosunki międzynarodowe  we wschodnio-centralnej Europie.

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